Pocket Human
by GuruGaddy
Summary: Once upon a time, in a distant past of mine, I had been a wild human.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in a distant past of mine, I had been a wild human.

'Wild', in its definitive state, had become a word of negative connotation and I'm not entirely sure why. They called us feral, brutish, rough and ugly. We can be told it so much that we begin to believe it. We were outlandish creatures with not-quite-rubbery skin, hair that sprouted in all the wrong places and limbs that were far too awkward and long when idle. They found it hard to tell us apart because we were all so similar. They didn't look for the varying shade of an eye, or the curve of a nose, or the structure in a jaw; apparently these nuances were too subtle, distinguishing them too much of a misuse of precious time.

Sometimes we were scrutinized (when we weren't wild): the sheen of a head of hair on a contest human, the build of a fighter, the fertility of those of us used for breeding. From time to time we relished it as flattery and then we would feel sick to our stomachs and wonder why we hung on every word they said. It often felt that without them we would be nothing; they defined us. We based our very existence through what they saw and deep down I think we all knew how wrong that was.

I was one of the many wild turned tame (or so I've been told). To be lab born or day care born is quite rare, but I would hate for that. I would know no different. I would have never had my taste of the wild and for me, although having undergone many a change in opinion over the years, 'wild' is not a negative word. 'Wild' is to run free through thickets and streams, to lie in the bed of nature, to pull on the stings of indigenous ease, to create mantras through a blade of grass, to be untouchable like the sky.

And so that is my dream: wild.

* * *

There was a brilliant flash of white when I found myself, quite suddenly, being pulled from sleep. A sensation of jarring disorientation overtook me in which I could feel myself reaching out for a physical form, grasping clumsily at nothing (and at the time my physicality was also nothing), desperately trying to stop the feeling of detachment. In less than a second I was on my hands and knees looking down at a spotless tiled floor. It was strange, for I had never seen tiles before in my life. They were peculiar – impossibly flat and cold to touch. In the past I had only ever know grass, the dirt, and the rock of the mountains. Tiles were new and that is what caused me alarm.

I felt a force, a stare, and I knew I was being watched. My heart began to pound. Then there was a shuffle, a cough. I twitched and on reflex looked up. Oh how I wish I hadn't.

I must have known what I was going to see. I remember being filled with such fear. There were pokémon, everywhere, boxing me in on all sides. There was one who stood closer – I saw the even orange scales and flickering flame of a charmander – and he watched my panic with clear look of displeasure before he averted his eyes like I was some horrible sorry display (I suppose that is how he saw me then), and he let out an irritated sigh. "And this is what happens when I pick last. I get the runt of the group."

"Ha! It's pathetic. Good Luck with becoming a Master now Blaze." It was another pokémon who spoke. He ridiculed with such ease – I wondered how someone could be so quick to be cruel – and his voice had a winey contemptuous quality. My eyes darted frantically, vision in a blur (I think I may have been crying), as I tried to locate the speaker. It was a bulbasaur – a particularly nasty looking Bulbasaur. To his side sat a human. It had been such a promising sight. I looked to him expectantly but to my despair he was cackling along with the Bulbasaur. I began crying all the more, a sight the Bulbasaur and boy found ludicrously funny. They laughed even harder while the Charmander just frowned. I had never felt so vulnerable.

For all my life, through everything I could remember, I was told pokémon were bad. They were awful spiteful creatures. I knew this. I knew this because my parents had taught me from a very young age not to approach pokémon if I should ever be unlucky enough to be near one. Now I was learning firsthand the repercussions of coming into contact with them. I was surrounded by them. In my desperation I searched the room, hoping there would be something or someone to help me. I quickly caught the eye of another human, squatting beside a squirtle. I stared at him imploringly, pleading silently, but he only looked at me sadly before gently shaking his head and turning away. He wouldn't help.

It was then, in an awful moment, that I thought I might as well be dead instead of in the clutches of a pokémon.

"Quiet now, the both of you!" someone snapped and the laughter died. Through my tears I saw a blurred shape approaching me. I shrank back but did not move away. This was mainly because of the lack of space to move to (I was backed up against a wall), but also I realised the more I resisted the worse it would be for me in the long run. Angering a pokémon never resulted in good things.

When my eyes began to clear and the pokémon before me became visible, I saw that he was a farfetch'd. I've always thought his kind looked rather odd, very out of place, with their peculiar love of green onions – his peeking out of his lab coat. This Farfetch'd had a pair of glasses that settled crookedly on his beak and that I almost found odder than the onion. It was my first time seeing pokémon in the flesh and I have to say (now that I look back on the event) that this Farfetch'd did not match up with the image I had created for them.

He reached out a feathered wing and patted my messy head of hair. I resisted the urge to recoil. "There, there, human. You are not in danger." I held my breath as he continued to pet me and when he finally removed his wing I exhaled quietly, feeling extremely relieved. He then spun to face the bulbasaur and his human, marching towards them quite angrily. He launched into a chain of reprimands, sounding quite vexed. To my right I heard the charmander click his tongue in a bored and irritated fashion. He didn't sound very happy to be here. I guess I could relate to him in that sense. I wasn't very happy either.

Slowly I began to shuffle away from the fiery pokémon and towards the other human to my left. I crawled up to him and lightly tapped his shoulder. He turned to me and I waited for him to respond but he just sat there in a biddable silence, staring at me in a way that spoke volumes of curiosity but also how much I troubled him. I couldn't quite understand his apprehension at the time. I had been the one crying.

"Hello?" I said in a nervous whisper and even with the rabble in the backgroup I was painfully aware of ever sound and movement I made. I wished for nothing less than to be able to sink into the shadows and never return. Why did I have to be so conspicuous?

"Hi." was his rather tense, concise greeting.

"This place... There are... p-pokémon." By the way he watched me I could tell he was feeling sorry for me. I didn't like that. The way his eyes were full of pity made me feel strangely shameful, like I was disgracing my species. I raised my chin just a little bit higher and forced my voice to drop its shaking and breathiness. "Please could you tell me where I am, why I'm here?"

"This is Professor Argillite's lab." he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "We're the starter humans given to new trainers. But then you knew that, right? I've never seen you in this lab before today. Were you transferred from another?"

There was a lump in my throat that began to form. My next words were practically choked out. "I'm not from a lab."

"A previous owner?"

I shook my head. "No."

He seemed hardly able to believe me. "But that means... You're a wild Human! But you don't look like one at all. You have cut hair and you're wearing clothes."

"What are you...?" The words died in my mouth as I looked down and saw a simple top and red shorts clinging to my frame. A whimper escaped my lips before I could stop it. "What? Why is there-?" I grasped at the material covering me, a feeling of dread settling in my stomach. They were dressing me up in the clothes captured humans wore. That could only ever mean one thing and that was a fate I did not desire. I despised the very idea of it.

"No! No! Get them off!" I shrieked, grabbing the hem of my top. I attempted to viciously rip it from my body only to be stopped by the boy.

He quickly pulled my hands away from the vest and shook me by the shoulders, almost as if that alone could snap some sense into me. "What do you think you're doing!? Don't you have any sense of decency?"

"Stop it!" I cried and pushed him away. "I don't want to wear them! I don't want to fight!"

By this time everyone else in the room had taken notice of us. Drawn over by my outcry, they surrounded the two of us as I endeavoured to remove the garments while the boy did his best to restrain me. The squirtle was the first to approach. She rushed over to the boy and started calling to him, frantically trying to get him to let go of me. "Red, stop. Please, let go of her."

"Give it up Hydra," The charmander gazed upon us two humans, distaste flickering across his features. "You won't get through to them like that. Besides, it's clearly my human who is at fault." The lizard pokémon raised a burning claw and pressed it against my arm. The heat shot through my flesh in a rush of pain and I shrieked shrilly, immediately forgetting all about the clothes I wore. The boy – Red – was startled enough to jump backwards. His eyes were wide and his mouth was parted in what must have been horror as he watched me sob and cradle my scorched wrist.

"Blaze!" Hydra yelped, just as stunned and appalled as Red was. But Blaze turned on her with a dark look that sent Hydra backing up fearfully. His tail sparked up in an inferno of rage that made it quite clear he was ready to erupt into a fit of anger.

Fortunately it was then the professor intervened. "This is quite enough! I expected you to act more mature than this. If I see this kind of behaviour again from any of you I will remove your humans and send you straight back to your parents. Understand?"

"Yes, Professor." the pokémon chorused drearily.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Red approach me again, this time a lot more meekly. I began to retreat back but he gently took a hold of my arm and held up a green bottle. "Heal burn." he told me before settling into an uneasy silence as to not interrupt the Professor.

"Good." Professor Argillite sniffed, pushing his glasses further up his bill. He turned his attention towards me. "Now, what seems to be the problem young one?"

"The clothes! You're going to make me fight!" I answered distraughtly as Red sprayed my arm causing me to yelp. It stung quite badly but seemed to do the job.

Regrettably, I had forgotten that pokémon had never done well to understand us; replying to them was pointless really. Their tongue was easily perceivable to us and was processed effortlessly in our minds almost as if it were our own language we were hearing. But they were ignorant to our dialect. I expect living tucked away from pokémon civilization your whole life could easily let you forget things like that. I had forgotten many things in my short eleven years of life thus far.

Hydra interceded, "She was pulling at her clothes I think, Professor. Does she have a problem with them?"

"Ah... I was worried about something like this happening." The Farfetch'd said, tone heavy. "It is quite common with wild humans who have been newly captured to... behave erratically let's say. In this case we have received such a reaction."

"You've given me a wild human!" Blaze all but yelled. "When I applied for this I had been under the impression I would be received a lab raised human or at least one already broken in. Not a vulgar human with the aptitude of a rock."

"You're one to talk about vulgar Blaze." Hydra bristled, earning a snicker from the bulbasaur.

"Linden." the professor warned with a scowl directed towards the bulbasaur. "And Hydra this really isn't the right time."

"Sorry..." she mumbled shamefacedly while Linden just scowled.

"Yes, she was only recently captured." the professor continued, directing a hard look towards Blaze. "However I would be grateful if you could be understanding of the circumstance. You see, recently the other human we would be offering you suffered a serious injury in an accident... Unfortunately his injuries were past the point of healing and he died."

Hydra and Red gasped but Linden scoffed, "Jeez Hydra, don't act like your Grandma's gone and kicked the bucket. Humans die like that all the time, especially if they're weak."

"How can you say that?" She was aghast, then angry. "That's awful! You can't shrug off death like it means nothing." She was right. It was awful, though I hadn't expected anything less from a pokémon.

"He's right though. A human dying isn't uncommon." Blaze spoke callously, shrugging.

_They're all the same._

Linden leered unpleasantly at Hydra, "I guess a country pokémon like you wouldn't have seen much of that. Mummy and Daddy kept you protected from it, did they? Didn't let you out into the big wide world? But now you're here they can't protect you from it. So what are you going to do? Run away?"

"Like I would!" She threw the grass pokémon a fierce look, bubbles beginning to form at her feet. I saw Red tense beside me. His expression was grim but determined, eyes fixed upon those his master gazed on with such fury. _Don't tell me he's preparing to fight against that horrid bulbasaur?_

The human beside the bulbasaur made a strange face when his stare met Red's. His head tilted – an invitation. His mouth curled – a display. His eyes narrowed – a threat. Red's breath against my shoulder became a growl. I shifted away from him, away from the impending fight.

"All of you calm down now!" And the tension was gone.

The professor had intervened before things got nasty, placing himself between them. "I was very serious about what I said earlier. I will take your humans away if you continue. However I know Linden was being extremely discourteous there Hydra so I will be lenient and as for you Linden... Well, you've always been a bit of a problem pokémon, from the very moment you hatched."

"What's that meant to mean old timer?!" Linden growled at the farfetch'd, but after receiving a humourless stare he quietened and settled for sulking instead.

"As I was saying, the other human we had ready has very sadly died – quite the serious topic." These words seemed to be aimed towards Linden and Blaze.

"Professor?" Hydra began timidly, "If you don't mind asking... How did he die?"

"It was all a case of bad timing and poor luck. It was a very unfortunate accident. Younger humans tend to not be as... robust, let's say, as older ones. The accident itself happened on the day the military were passing through town-"

"-I remember that!" Linden chimed in eagerly and the professor heaved a sigh. "Yes Linden, I'm sure you do."

"Yeah! I went to watch them. They were so cool! One showed me a battle scar."

"Linden, we don't care about that!" Hydra exclaimed heatedly.

"You're just jealous."

"I am not jealous! Don't be so petty."

"Petty!? What are you talking about?"

"Oh sorry." Hydra said with a smirk, an expression she didn't seem to pull very often. Linden obviously made for a special case. "Petty means to be small-minded and spiteful."

Linden's face burned in embarrassment and anger. "I know what it means!"

Blaze spoke, surprising everybody. "Shut up Linden. Listen."

He was as cold as he had been before. That was not surprising. What intrigued me was his sudden interest in the death of the human – a creature he had shown such contempt for. I cautiously made my return to a position beside Red. From there I made sure to study Blaze's expression throughout the rest of the recount.

"Oh. Thank you Blaze." Even the professor was surprised. "Ahem! Er, as I was saying... Well, there's not really much left to say. The human ran out in front of the military parade and I've heard he was causing a ruckus. That's what pokémon there said. I unfortunately wasn't present or I'm sure such a terrible thing wouldn't have happened."

The professor paused for a moment and a grim look overtook his face. "The military are not know for their restraint. They burned him. Badly. They thought he was going to attack someone. He must have been spooked by something, it's the only explanation. He was a mild-mannered human; he'd never be so vicious to attack unprovoked."

I watched him – Blaze. He didn't look shocked, happy, angry...nothing. His expression was that same stupid little scowl. I think it must have been permanently stuck to his face. It was annoying. I had expected something. Anything.

Frowning, I tore my eyes away from him and let my gaze settle on _my_ burn – now much less red but still smarting. Blaze burned me. The military burned that boy. How horrible. It made me want to cry again. Horrible. _Horrible. _But that is how we were meant to live. _What a pokémon says goes_. No questions asked. I wished it was different.

I turned to Red. "Were you— " My voice was croaky, barley audible. I gulped, as to clear the sad lump in my throat, a lump that always developed with the suppression of tears. "Were you there when it happened?"

"No," He shook his head sadly. "I'm from a different lab. I wasn't raised here."

"Oh." I said. There was simply nothing else that could be said.

We both fell into a dour silence and only half listened to the argument that had arisen between Hydra and Linden with the professor attempting to act as peacekeeper. Blaze studied the bare walls, clearly disinterested, and the other human watched the fight unfold from the sidelines, jeering at Hydra and cheering for his master. My face contorted into a glower. I glared at the boy, disgusted. He might as well have been a pokémon.

Red followed my gaze and mirrored my expression. "That's Blue." he told me frostily.

"He doesn't seem very nice."

"He's not." Red agreed. "I've only been at this lab for a few days but that's enough for me to be sure of that."

"I'll stay away from him then." I certainly did not want to be at the mercy of someone like him.

Red's eyes were sombre as he asked me, "What if you couldn't avoid him? What if you had to fight him?"

"Why in Arceus' name would I fight him?!" I was incredulous at the time but Red's next few words stimulated an awareness I was not prepared for.

"Come on already!" His tone was surprisingly harsh. It made me flinch. "You're not some feral human now; you are captured. You will probably have to fight Blue one day. You will probably have to fight _me_ one day. You need to get used to the idea now before it's too late."

At first I was shocked at Red's unforgiving delivery of the warning. My hurt look was enough to make him mumble an apology and say softly, "Think about it." So I did. I thought about what he had said, how he had said it, and then it occurred to me. I understood then. The austerity of it, the roughness to his voice... Saying the things I needed to know kindly would never work. Words never stuck like that. It was like the idea of sheltering a child – some protection is good but too much will make them feeble. I came to the horrible conclusion that from before that day I had been sheltered. My whole life my parents had done their very best to keep me away from anything that might have caused me upset or injury. In a secluded little cave we had lived, away from pokémon, even away from so many of my own kind. I knew nothing of the world except what they had told me.

They had not told me enough it seemed. I knew of herbs and food, trees' growth and rivers' currents, words and pictures, but they had never taught me how to be strong. If Red wasn't tough with me now, who would be? The answer to that scared me. Whoever was tough with me next would undoubtedly be someone who intended me harm. It would not be to teach me a lesson my parents failed to teach.

"Thank you." I uttered gratefully, not quite able to meet his eyes. He appeared to understand my appreciation though because he smiled at me, a small encouraging smile, and, with surprising ease, I returned it.

* * *

_Edited 09.11.15_


	2. Chapter 2

The pokémon talked for a while longer, the professor handing out various items. I heard the words 'Ningen-ball' and 'Ningendex' being thrown around a lot. I asked Red what they were and he told me it was technology all to do with us – humans. He told me the Ningen-ball was a device used to capture wild humans during battle and also where humans can rest. Apparently I had been in one just a little while ago. I didn't really like the thought of having been kept within a tiny piece of metal but then the more curious part of my mind marvelled at how such a creation could have come into existence. It seemed like magic.

Red explained the Ningendex to me too. It was like a minicomputer, he told me. I didn't know what a computer was but I nodded along anyway (I didn't want to appear too dumb). He described the Ningendex to be a mechanism used to catalogue humans, taking into account stature, gender, race, likes and dislikes. I found the pokémon's strange obsession with keeping track on us rather disturbing but Red though it was intriguing.

I also voiced my thought on running away. Red told me not to. He said I was safer here as a captured human rather than trying to fend for myself against other wild humans. I really wasn't sure about that though. I felt on edge. My eyes kept flickering to the exit and I couldn't sit still. The urge to make a run for it was steadily increasing but Red had won over my trust. He gave the impression of having good judgment and a good heart so for now I decided to take his word for it as difficult as it was to believe (after all I did get burnt within minutes of being here – it hardly seemed all that safe).

"Human, return." Sucked away in the middle of a conversation with Red I felt the familiar jarring sensation, a bright white light taking over my vision. For a moment I was nothingness but then I became whole again. The place was dark and large but at the same time somewhat pleasant and warm. There wasn't much to look at – nothing but myself to be precise. It was just empty darkness.

Muffled voices echoed around the space, like I was hearing them through a wall. "Blaze, she was clearly talking to Red. That was quite rude. Poor thing didn't even know you were putting her back in the ball." It was Hydra, the less scary one.

"I said 'Human, return'. If that isn't enough of a warning I don't know what is." But that was definitely Blaze.

"You have to tell your human, face to face. Don't just say something out of the blue and expect her to be listening. And you should really start thinking about names for her. My human is called Red."

I listened to them argue for some time longer, soon realising that I would not be coming out of this ningen-ball for a while yet. I felt bad that I hadn't been able to say goodbye to Red; I wasn't sure when I would get to see him again. I could only hope Blaze didn't dislike Hydra so much that he would avoid her completely.

With a sigh I settled myself down. Curled up with my knees tucked under my chin I waited for sleep. I drifted off thinking of my given name and how strange it was that I couldn't remember it.

* * *

I awoke with a jolt as my body fell against the ground. I felt moisture beneath my skin and the soft touch of grass. Instantly a smile captured my face. I let my eyes remain close and my body stilled, finger tips running through the soft blades as I indulged in the nostalgia. I became enveloped in the earthy smell and thought that it would be a lovely place to have a nap.

There was a heat behind me. My eyes snapped open as I remembered the horrible feeling of a burn, the look of sizzling flesh flashing before my eyes. It was enough to make me nauseous all over again.

Blaze stood behind me, body heating in anger, tail flaring up. He was angry, very angry. But what had I done? I stared at him in mutual fear and confusion. He seemed to be performing some kind of motion, arms moving furiously. "Behind! Behind!" he bellowed.

_Behind? _Barely had I craned my neck to look back before a fist came crashing against my cheek. The force of the strike had me falling back against the ground again, my head hitting the solid earth with a painful thud. I felt the impact send vibration through my skull and my vision faltered for a split second. My mind became a sleepy muddle as I attempted to make out who, where, why, what and how. I started to put pieces together, not quite but enough for it to click that sticking around for a second punch was not a good idea.

I scrambled to get up, narrowly missing another blow to the face. I fled away from the threat and in my disorientation I ran straight into a tree. I clutched at the bark, trying to steady myself and gain some kind of grip on the situation. I forced myself to turn around, my body complying sluggishly. It is never a good idea to leave your back unguarded to an unknown enemy. I could work out that much.

I saw a human before me. She was a girl like me, probably of a similar age to me too. Unlike me however she was as I once was – free and unchained. She didn't wear human clothes. Her body was uncovered, as bare as the day she was born. She was no captured human. The world was limitless to her.

The rubbing of my top underneath my armpits suddenly became annoyingly blatant in its aggravation of my skin. The cloth was wrapped around me like restraints. The presence of clothing was blazingly apparent now that I saw this girl. A stab of jealousy surged through me. I would give anything to be in her place.

Blaze's voice filled the air and my attention was on him again. "What are you doing? We are in the middle of a battle! Get your act together!"

_A battle? _A battle. Too soon.

Hydra was right about needing to warn me about things. It definitely would have been nice for some forewarning this time around. Some training would have been helpful too. I didn't know how to fight. What was Blaze thinking? I wasn't strong. I wasn't skilled. How did he expect me to pull this off?

The sound of thundering feet and Blaze's shout to "dodge" had me diving from the tree, once again scarcely avoiding the attack. I dashed away to a safe distance to at least allow myself some time to think. A feral growl emerged from the girl's throat that made my blood run cold. Her gaze was pinned on me and it was full of such ferocity and bloodlust that I turned completely rigid with fear. The fear I felt for this fellow human, a girl of my age, scared me more than any pokémon I had encountered so far.

How odd it was. I had never imagined I could be scared of one of my own kind but here I was, sent lily-livered by a human. How could a human behave like this? My parents had told me all humans were kind souls, loving creatures. Maybe there are a few bully-like humans, they told me. It made it easier to accept Blue when I had seen him cackling at other's misfortune. But the deranged animalistic nature I saw now was unlike anything I could have dreamed of. Not even the pokémon I saw in my nightmares gave me the look this girl gave me now.

As I saw her more clearly I caught sight of the blood. In dry smears it covered the palms of her hands, caked the soles her feet, rimmed the insides of her teeth. It was there discreetly, like dirt under finger nails – barely noticeable. But once you know it's there you cannot ignore it. Your eyes will flit back to it no matter how you try to forget. In this instant of fear I found myself relying on Blaze, my eyes looking for his in a fit of desperation, for the need of a plan. I was sure to look back on this moment and find it strange that my hope of survival rested on a pokémon, of all creatures. That I also found quite terrifying.

I experienced a bizarre sensation as his eyes met mine. It was almost like feeling something pass between us. Understanding. That's what it was. I was sure of it. But I didn't have long to dwell as Blaze was soon sending me orders. "Rely on your speed and only aim for weak points. The back of the knee is good spot to go for."

His words had me moving and before I knew it I had ducked behind the girl while she had been distracted by Blaze talking. I surprised myself when I managed to deck her, watching her fall to the floor in disbelief. Fighting wasn't as hard as I had made it up to be.

"Ah!" I shrieked when I felt a hand wrap around my ankle. I tried to shake her off but her grip just tightened, nails digging into my skin. I gasped in pain as blood began to drip down my right foot. Her lips stretched into a menacing grin. "Oopsie." She hissed delightedly and tugged hard on my ankle. Now I was knocked to the floor too and at a huge disadvantage. If I wasn't in a position to distance myself from her my speed would do me no good.

The wind was knocked from me and my head was spinning. I hardly noticed the girl clamber up to be crouching over me. Dirtied hands slipped around my neck and then I realised how much trouble I was in. She pushed down on my throat, slowly suffocating me. I could feel the tightness of her hands against my skin and the desperation for air to enter my lungs. My gaze skittered over the muscles so much larger than mine that contorted as their owner pressed against me and I wheezed my protests.

She was brawny but that didn't mean I couldn't beat her. Blaze's words echoed in my head. _Weak points, _I thought. That was what I needed. Her knees pinned down my arms and I certainly couldn't move my head, but my legs were unrestrained. _Weak points..._ I could only summon one idea at that time and it seemed like a bit of a cheap shot; be that as it may, this battle meant life or death. There was no time to be worrying about civility when this girl had none to spare for me.

I raised a leg and jabbed my knee upwards – straight where it counts. She may not be male but it was certain to hurt badly anyway. It was rather disgusting, having to put my knee against such a place, yet it did make me see the value of clothing for the first time. No one would be butting their knee up my privates so easily.

She rolled off me with a shriek and I wasted no time in getting up and kicking her while she was down. Straight into her ribs, the toe of my trainer slammed into her side. _Again. Again._

"Kick the head!" Blaze called.

_The head. Kick. Again. Again._

I didn't stop kicking until I saw her eyes fluttered shut, but even then I was scared she would suddenly leap up and attack me. Keeping my eyes trained on her unconscious form I slowly backed away and when I felt I was far enough fell to the floor in a tired heap. Tears were leaking from my eyes and sporadic shudders past through my body. The sudden release of fear and pain only weighed down on me now when all the adrenalin was gone.

The skin of my cheek, hands and neck were sore (my neck especially so). I ran my fingers along the bruised skin and felt its tenderness. She had left her mark on me, that girl.

Blaze approached me, with a strangely appreciative glint to his eyes. "Not bad, Human. Maybe you're not so much of a runt, even though your performance was very sloppy."

I couldn't even work up the energy to be scared of him right now. Besides, he didn't seem so frightening anymore. Now that I knew what horror truly was I couldn't picture Blaze in the same light. If the word 'monster' were to be mentioned I would have originally pictured Blaze, now all I could see were those blood framed teeth. It was a haunting image that was etched into my mind and ready to appear in the nightmares to come.

Blaze was practically tame in comparison. What was a burn compared to the shock of my own kind attempting to brutally crush my wind pipe while enjoying it? I was not scared now. If anything I felt angry. Blaze should have been more helpful and sympathetic. _If he's my trainer he should damn well act like it!_

But I really couldn't summon a scowl at that time. A blank stare would do.

"You will fight again tomorrow." Still no training? Another fight? I found myself not caring. I was just glad he was giving me a night's rest. "Human, return."

_Back to sleep I go_.

* * *

_Edited 09.11.15_


	3. Chapter 3

I cried myself to sleep in my dark cave of a ningen-ball. I shut my eyes and wished myself away to the past, to a time of peace with my parents, when I spent my days running on stubby legs around a mountain side. We were so high up; I could have touched the clouds if I had wanted to. It was a place of snow and life and magic and wonder. But most of all it was the place of home. It must be lands away from here, I would imagine. It could not be nearby; it could not boarder a place so brutal and forbidding.

My birthplace is a kingdom of beauty, where the smell of sweet nectar rides the wind and rivers run churning blue. When I drink from that water I taste the world as it should be. I play by that river for most of the morning. Then there is a faint jingling of bells heard at noon. Mother is calling. So I push away from the river's edge and run to our cave, its walls lit in a patina of golden light, filled with furs and comforts and things of home. But now that I reach that cave my memories begin to waver. The world begins to slip away and the darkness creeps in through my eyelids. I try to stay but I never have the power.

Shadows surround me and that is when I know reality is there to collect me. But in the last slither of warm light I see her there. She is peeling fruit by the fire. She is facing away from me. She is always facing away. _Turn around._

"Get off the floor, Human. We have work to do."

She never did turn around in time.

* * *

Human.

Is that my name now?

I had no other identifier. I couldn't remember my true name. But how could that be? I had always thought that a name is something that makes us who we are. It becomes a defining feature, a part of our core existence. It is not something as senseless as a just a label, although categorization may be the original need for a name. I believe names involve an element of spiritualism and self-worth. I seemed to be lacking that.

I had had it once. Where did my name go? How could I let a possession so important slip through the cracks of my mind? _I need to find it._

But for that moment, my name was Human.

* * *

_An eight year old today_. At least I imagined him to be eight. He could have been younger, or older. How am I to know? To me, he just looked eight.

It is quite pointless to wonder such things in the midst of a battle. Though it proves my humanity, it also tears me up inside. I see a person so small and I feel my heart constrict in my chest and wonder why we have to fight. But then I saw the dry blood painted over his face and the sadism in his eyes. When I saw that I forgot that he was eight. I forgot that he was human.

I beat him into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Blaze first gave me ningen food I was dubious. He was rummaging around in his backpack, looking for whatever it was. I waited patiently for the food, although hunger had been gnawing at my stomach for two days. He had not fed me a single thing for all that time. It seemed he had forgotten that humans have to eat too but, then again, I had forgotten as well.

I hated to think of what he would feed me: something synthesized in great machines that pokémon have ingeniously created or maybe a food so vile I wouldn't be able to hold it down long enough to digest. I was surprised at what he gave me.

It was a bowl of fruits, with shiny colourful skins and a sweet smell. They were familiar to me, a glimpse at that time from long ago. As I ate those fruits I began to cry.

"You're always crying. Toughen up already. Nobody will stick around for a cry-baby." Blaze told me.

I didn't think Blaze was monster anymore, he was just ignorant.

* * *

I nearly died a few days ago.

Blaze had spotted an especially young human and had immediately initiated a battle. Easy prey, he told me. He made me sound like a like I was some kind of predator. I suppose I am.

The boy was by far the youngest human I had seen. In a month of traipsing around the territory of wild ones I had never seen a human as young as this. He must have been two or three, not that old at all. When Blaze ordered that I fight this little creature I found myself freezing to the spot. I watched the child pulling at the grass, not even aware of our presence. He was different from other wild humans. His face was fresh and round, eyes wide and legs still chubby. There was no blood smattering his body and there was no look of crazed savagery. I could only see innocence.

I want to capture him, Blaze said. It's best to catch wild ones young.

My mind's eye saw this child grow and become something terrible. I saw his body twist, stretch and mutilate. I saw his eyes fill with blood-lust and his teeth turn scarlet. I didn't want him to become like that. It was strange but when I thought about it capturing this human seemed better than leaving him there to slowly loose all purity and kindness. I remembered Red's words then, how he had told me it was safer to be captured than wild. I think I was finally able to understand what he meant.

I started forward, ready to kick and scratch and claw at this child until he was too weak to move. Then Blaze could capture him and it wouldn't matter that I had hurt him because this human would understand too one day. He would thank me for saving him from being savage; he would love me and treat me as a sister. He would always be with me. I would protect him.

The child screamed when I kicked him. I hadn't realised how strong I was getting. My attack had thrown him back into brambles. The force of the blow left a redness spreading over his chest and the brambles ripped at his skin. As I watched him writhe and cry I saw myself. I saw how I had once reacted to Blaze's burn or the pain after my first fights with wild humans. So what did that make me?

I lost a part of myself then. Some of my own innocence I think. Isn't it ironic to think that while I was trying to protect someone's humanity I lost part of mine? It almost made me want to laugh but as always I cried instead.

I dropped to my knees by the screaming boy, with heavy sobs raking through my body. I tried to untangle him from the thorns, while weeping my apologies. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried. He didn't listen to my words. He was too terrified. He thought I was a monster. He thrashed about, squirming away from my hands, letting the brambles anchor him in place. I saw the blood spill out onto his skin. I saw his eyes turn bitter. I knew then that he had lost his innocence too.

"What are you doing?" Blaze had yelled angrily.

I remember turning towards him with my hands covered in the boy's blood, shaking and weeping, and his expression was pure irritation. Nothing else. He didn't display the mess of emotion I did. All I saw was his ignorance. His benighted state was like a beacon of light to me. To not know the pain of a human must be a blessing.

There was a terrible screech in the distance, a screech I could vaguely remember from my childhood. It had been the day I had fallen into the river. My mother had made that noise then, but this time it was his mother. She ran at me, with a viciousness I had yet to see from a wild human. It was different from the way I had seen humans involved with violence before. When she clawed at me, tearing me away from her child, I felt desperation to her actions. This was not fighting for enjoyment or out of madness, this was from love. I recognised it because I had felt those same hands, hands were now curling around my neck, pull me out of the river that day. They were a mother's hands. Apparently wild humans hadn't lost their humanity after all.

The mother had been lean and muscled. I would have never stood a chance against her even if I was trying to fight back. She attacked me in a frenzy, each blow bringing about a grogginess to my mind. The pain was unbearable and the darkness was taking over. The last thing I remembered was looking up and seeing the mother standing over me. Her face was dirty and her teeth stained with blood, but her eyes were blue and her features soft, she had freckles and strawberry blonde hair, lips that were thin and were framed in smile lines. She was as human as they get. She wasn't a monster either.

I woke up five days later at the ningen centre. Blaze was waiting by my bed. When he realised I was awake he started shouting at me. He told me if I hadn't have been so stupid in the middle of a battle none of this would have happened. He looked so angry yet his tail didn't burn brightly as I had seen it do before. It made me wonder what he was feeling if it wasn't anger.

Somehow, he didn't seem so ignorant anymore.

* * *

_Edited 09.11.15_


	4. Chapter 4

It hadn't been long after Blaze started shouting at me that he was chased out of the room by Nurse Chansey, berating him for disturbing a patient. I was glad to see Blaze gone. His loudness hadn't helped my pounding headache in the slightest.

Nurse Chansey came back in, followed by a pink haired human. They approached me with a smile, a smile I could be at ease with. I let my eyes flutter shut as they examined me, tuning my ears to the rhythmic beat of the heart monitor. This was the first time I had been on a bed – a manufactured one. It was nice, soft and warm. It smelled good too, sort of synthetic, but it was fresh and floral.

"My, you've healed rather well."

I cracked an eye open. The pink haired woman was talking to me.

"Oh... Good." I replied simply. I wasn't very good at keeping up conversations nowadays. I had no one to talk to most days (unless you counted a raving Charmander).

She let out a friendly laugh that was wonderfully unassuming. "It certainly is." I suppose she was well used to patients slightly on the anti-social side and was able to keep up her gracious bedside manner with ease. A people person, I thought. It was quite a useful trait for a job like this, even if she was not in charge. Nurse Chansey was. This woman was just her human.

"Will I be here long?" I asked the woman.

"No, you shouldn't be here much longer. You got off surprisingly easy for someone thrown off a cliffside."

"Ah," I really wasn't sure how to feel about that. Happy? If I were to stay here it would mean no more fighting for some time. Yet I had grown used to travel. I felt restless in this room and I knew my body would only respond well to movement. Lying in this bed surely would not help recovery anymore than it already had. I shuffled to sit up in the bed and then cringed as a sharp pain ran through my lower back.

The pink haired lady saw and her hands jumped to push me back against the pillows. She explained with a concerned frown, "You damaged your coccyx."

"Ah," I repeated, acting as if I knew what a coccyx was. Other captured humans knew so much more than me. I felt rather gormless.

"Yes," she said gravely, "Your coccyx. You are very lucky the damage wasn't further up your spine. Now that could have been serious. You may have been paralysed. That is something even Nurse Chansey would struggle to cure."

"But don't humans and pokémon often get paralysed?" I may not have known much about the world I had been thrust into, but I knew some snippets of information. There had been a lot of interesting knowledge I came across in my travels with Blaze.

"It's not that kind of paralysis, not electrical and not temporary. This one is to do with nerves, which are electrical in a sense mind you. It's a bit complicated to explain – and time consuming."

"Nerves..." I didn't know what they were either. "Excuse me, but what's your name?"

"Oh, sorry." Her mood switched from the solemn to genial in an instant and she smiled at me, something heart-wrenchingly similar to the smile my mother used to give me. "Nurse Joy. Well, just Joy really, but I like to be professional."

"Right. I'll remember that."

Nurse Joy's smile, if it were possible, seemed to grow even warmer. "Get some sleep now. We'll wake you for dinner."

A few minutes later and Nurse Chansey was done with whatever medical checks she had been carrying out and exited the room with Nurse Joy following after. Alone at last – and not in a ningen ball. How odd. I hadn't had this sort of privacy in a long time. It was nice. In the comfort of my solitude I was able to sink into the bed and enter a well needed sleep.

* * *

"Wake up, Human."

My eyes snapped open to be faced with a grouchy Charmander perched on my bedside. His brows were puckered into a glare, but it wasn't directed at me. He was watching the door.

"Blaze?" Groggily, I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

"The staff here is a pain in the ass," He grumbled, his scowl resting on the out-of-sight Nurse Chansey.

"Oh, the dilemmas you face," I said sardonically (in the knowledge he wouldn't understand me), before throwing myself back under the bed sheets. I was never very interested in listening to Blaze's whining and he did it quite often. I would never have pegged him as a whiner when I first met him – he had seemed too intimidating and aloof for that. He showed his true colours after around a week of trudging around in the wild. Clearly, at the time, he had no experience of the great outdoors.

"We're leaving soon—" he began, pealing my covers back off me but when he saw my face (no doubt more gaunt and tired looking than it had ever been before) he amended himself, "As soon as you're fit enough for travel. Probably tomorrow."

He left five minutes later. I think he felt a bit awkward, with nothing left to say or at least nothing that was nice. He struggled with 'nice'. I was quite the reverse. I was content enough to let the silence linger – which may be partially accountable to my inability to converse with him in the first place – and found Blaze's company much more pleasant when there was no speaking at all. It wasn't that Blaze was a big chatterbox; it was very much the opposite. However, I had discovered that when left to long periods of isolation on our travels (not including me; I mean this in terms of other pokémon) he would begin to, as I have said, whine. He would ramble and bleat and complain, but if we encountered another trainer he would turn back to his aloof self. Sometimes I wondered if he was secretly lonely.

The next morning, when I woke up, I thought my near-death experience had marked a step forward in my and Blaze's relationship but then he stormed into my room and said, while giving sour glances at Nurse Chansey hovering in the doorframe, "Get up Human. We're leaving this dump."

_Maybe not._

* * *

When I was next released from my ningen-ball I had expected to come face to face with another wild human to fight (as it had been the way for past a month now) but, when I appeared, I was in Viridian City. I have been told it is rather average in size and appearance for a city but I had never seen anything like it and was in awe (the ningen centre and the professor's lab had been pretty unbelievable too but this was something else). High rise buildings spread across the land like concrete trees, forever growing and multiplying as new pokémon decided to call Viridian home. Between these building complex road systems stretched; I stood on the sidewalk of one and watched a strange metal box go trundling by. It had been my first glimpse of a car and it just about gave me a heart attack.

"Get moving." Blaze took off walking before I could barely take anything in. I was so overwhelmed that Blaze was halfway down the street by the time I got my head in gear. I ran to catch up but as I did it became apparent that a city was so much more crowded that the wild. There were pokémon everywhere, all kinds, kinds I had never seen before, some I could hardly conceive. There were so many colourful fur coats and graceful scaled beings bustling around me that I couldn't help but feel entirely dull in comparison (once I had got over the fright of it all). Humans really were quite plain creatures.

Some of the pokémon had humans trailing after them, like me and Blaze, and I had never seen so many varying humans either – only a few close relations and friends visited our mountain – but it had been awhile since I had seen humans who didn't have the desire to viciously attack me so I remained rather tense. How could I be more wary of humans than pokémon? It was ludicrous.

It turned out Blaze was leading me to his aunt's house (Aunt Ingle). She was an eccentric combusken who had apparently travelled the world as an intrepid explorer before settling down in a duplex apartment in the centre of Viridian city to teach at the Human Academy. She jumped on Blaze before he could even cross her threshold, cooing loudly, "Oh my little Blazey! Look at you; such a big boy." Blaze grumbled under her hold, no doubt some profanity, but he made no move to push her off.

Her reaction to me was similar – if not more enthusiastic. "So this is the human you told me about over video chat." When she patted the ground I sank down and let her pet me. She ruffled my hair, pinched my cheeks with her talons, clucking in an affectionate fashion, and I lapped it up. I may have found it demeaning in some other time but I hadn't been treated with such warmth in so long that I really couldn't find it within myself to care. All I could think was: _I feel appreciated for once._

"She really is a cute one." she said to Blaze, still fondling my hair. "If only she wasn't so dirty... What kind of mud have you been running this poor human through Blaze?" Blaze got no chance to respond because Aunt Ingle was already leading me away to the bathroom. He followed us in but soon got bored and left the room, apparently not concerned with his human's cleanliness.

In the space of ten minutes I was stripped down and scrubbed raw. Oddly, I was very reluctant to have my clothes taken away from me. It almost felt wrong to be parted with them, indecent. But then I felt the warm water filling the tub around me and was ever so happy to be naked again. Ingle left no spot unchecked. She got the muck under my nails, shampooed my hair and then she hosed me down with the shower head – the new sensation of high powered water was quite alarming. When I looked down at myself I was honestly astounded. I had almost forgotten my skin could be so milky; there had just been so much dirt before. I was ushered out of the bath and made to sit splayed out on the floor as Ingle dried me down with an incredibly warm fluffy towel, which had me caught between delight at the pleasant sensation and giggling through ticklishness. "She'd make a fabulous contest pokémon. Just look at the quality of her hair!" exclaimed Ingle as she ran her comb through it.

"She's not for contests." I heard Blaze say from some other room in the apartment. I supposed Blaze would only ever care about battles, with the power and blood and macho-like persona that went with enjoying it. I didn't have any solid opinion on battling anymore. There was no longer any resentment in me for pokémon pitting my kind against each other – just acceptance. The only thing I really did feel was sure that he would keep me battling wild humans until the day I just keeled over dead.

Ingle was loath to put me back in my clothes, far too grimy to match my clean body, but in the end she pulled my top over my head with the promise she would go out and buy me some new attire as her "daft" nephew wasn't interested.

On my way back out of the bathroom, damp feet padding over the tiles (a reminder of the day I woke up in Professor Argillite's lab), I caught sight of myself. At first, I didn't quite realise it was me and startled back against a coffee table at the sudden appearance of another human. My initial thought was: _This is the loveliest human I have seen in a long time, almost as lovely as my mother. _But then, as I reached up a hand to touch her, almost dazedly, I realised it was me. That was the clearest I had ever seen my reflection. Back in my mountain home I had only ever caught glimpses of myself through puddles and sometimes through the sheen of light in my father's cracked glasses.

Mum had a mirror. There had been only one time in which she let me use it. In fact, it was my last memory of her before I became captured. I found her in our cave and I remember that she was very sad. She pulled me against her and showed me the mirror, a small round plastic thing with a large ornate flower on the back. Though it was murky through age and wear she seemed to cherish it and so I sat with her for a long time as we looked at ourselves in the tiny pocket mirror.

The image I saw now in Aunt Ingle's home was much crisper than mother's mirror. It was so crisp I almost felt ethereal. As Ingle bustled around the apartment, genially chatting with Blaze, I stood stock-still and stared at the reflection. I was older looking, I thought vaguely. Although it had only been little more than a month since I had last seen myself (and although that image hadn't been entirely clear) my cheeks bones had become more defined and my hair was sleeker and longer than it had been before (mother had always used a sharpened rock to cut it to shoulder length). The most noticeable change however was my eyes. They had hardened and become somewhat sunken. It was hard to feel like a child anymore.

* * *

After about an hour of sharing tea and biscuits with Ingle, after many discussions of battles and contests and Ingle's desire for Blaze to attend a class at the Human Academy (things I didn't pay much attention to as I was feeling rather melancholy about my not-quite-remembered past), Blaze stood up to leave. He nearly put me back in my ningen-ball but Ingle stopped him and declared she would take me shopping while Blaze carried out his errands. He didn't really have the capacity to argue with his Aunt. She was far too determined.

Later, on the way back from our spree, when I was no longer so nostalgic, I wondered how Blaze would feel about my coming home in a pink frilly skirt. _I do hope he doesn't burn it_, but I smiled to think about his chronic displeasure all the same.

* * *

_Notes: To previous readers: It's been awhile since my last update but better late than never. I have edited the other chapters slightly (most noticeably the introduction of the story) but it shouldn't affect you too much if you decide not to re-read._

_To new and previous readers: Thanks for giving this story a gander. I do enjoy writing it. Somehow it's easier for me to write dark themed stories. And this story is a meandering dark story. It'll take a while to get there but there is a big plot I'm building up to._

_Enjoy dear readers!_


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